just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
