You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
do nipples grow back?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
