yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
