Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I touched a dick in church today
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
