Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
