oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
