matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
