You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize