Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
