Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
