Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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