Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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