i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
