i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
