At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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