He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's blow job season.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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