none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This baby is an asshole
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
