If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I need moral support for this bender
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
