the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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