I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
