is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize