If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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