This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize