WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My bed smells like the plague
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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