In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love having hate sex.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
