the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I have post one night stand depression
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