i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My breasts were aching with rage.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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