Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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