Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
from now on my penis is your penis
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
