just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
