My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
