They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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