Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
