O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize