You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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