No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
