yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
