You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So vagazzling was a success
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
