Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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