She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
