normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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