i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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