no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
