Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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