Slut skills are useful in every country.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
