I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
