we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
