I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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