Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
