that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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