Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
