This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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