Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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