Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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