Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
only if we run a train.
done.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
