The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
