I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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