Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
