I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
