He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
