yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
