There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
