he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
