If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
