I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
