is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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